Tanks are the best defense

Tanks are the best defense

In one of the strangest press-conferences in the history of the AFL, Carlton president and billionaire businessman Dick Pratt denied the rumours that his side were 'tanking' late in the season in order to gain a priority pick. In a gallant effort, the Blues outclassed Collingwood for 3 and 3 quarters, in what should have been a one-sided affair that such a 'flag favourite' should have easily won by 10 goals. The Pies valiantly rallied home when 'gun' forward Anthony Rocca suddenly find a rare show of fitness and kicked four goal in the final term, much the the Jihadic ecstasy of the Collingwood faithful.

And despite the Carlton-Collingwood rivalry being nearly as great and spiteful as that one in the Middle-East, Pratts comments were defintely from left-field. 'You know, I give millions to Israel, and why not, they are my tribe and have been f___d over for centuries. When you are surrounded by terrorists and guerrilla 'armies' that make Collingwood supporters seem civilised and are born to annihilate you - tanks are you best defense. You remember 'Operation Shredder'? Well look it up in your dictionary next time.” With those cryptic words, Pratt swiftly left the press conference, but had these parting words: "..at least Ratts is doing a better job than Pagan!"

Flamboyant Collingwood cheer squad identity 'Joffa' was unfortunately not available for comment.